It never occurred to me throughout 2019, whilst out & about with my headscarf-clad crown that my actions could have been seen as insensitive or inappropriate. I was just insecure of my baldness / patchiness & wanted to feel beautiful / tired of pushing hats up off my face because I had no hair to keep them in place / sick of gluing my wig down to my sore scalp.. pick any one; I was just sick.What an uneasy discovery after wearing a headscarf to feel beautiful when I felt far from that, learning they had been forced upon enslaved women as a marker of ownership, oppression and dehumanisation.They've since then been celebrated and worn as a symbol of freedom & rebellion by black women, reclaiming the power former slave owners so brutally took from the people they enslaved.Fast forward to 2019 during my second-to-last round of chemotherapy, I opted to have my cold cap removed, which was a really difficult & emotional decision at the time. A cold cap is a frozen helmet optionally worn during the chemo cycle, which is supposed to help reduce hair loss by protecting the hair follicles from the drug.After weeks of trying to save my hair & being so close to the end, ditching the cold cap was pretty distressing, but l'd lost about 50%, add to that no-one talks about the PAIN in your follicles. Just moving my hair slightly was agony & my whole head felt stuck with pins; pain which disappeared as soon as I was bald.So yeah, the decision to let go was horrible but as soon as the drip was started, I found a small book on the shelf next to my bed, which was illustrated with the cutest ways to tie various headscarves. I got that familiar wave of excitement when creative people discover something fun they can make out of a negative. A sweet nurse gave me the book and cue my lifetime obsession for learning how to tie & style headscarves.Whilst they were & still are a staple in wardrobes across the world, first worn by many African women as part of their traditional dress, they're not & should not be seen as a fashion statement without an understanding & respect for their history & cultural significance.I painted this piece, and continue to model in this way, not to claim the headdress, but to mark the woman who found a book on a hospital shelf and decided to keep going.

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